If you don't RSVP to that kid's party you are being the bully
Mommy rant. I know everyone is so busy. Your kids have karate and ballet, musical theater, and soccer, basketball and swim lessons at the y. You need to get in your workouts...run group, barre, tri-training, whatever. Then there are church activities, family events and friends. You are so busy, in fact, that you forgot to RSVP to the 7 year old's birthday party in your daughter's class. Apparently, so did everyone else. It happens. trust me...it happens. So, this kid's momma is sending out texts to those parents whose cell numbers she has, asking, " did you get the invitation?" and "the bounce place is asking for numbers and I can't seem to give them any". Does this concern you? I've seen this happen. AND I HAVE STILL SEEN NO RESPONSE from the parents. Seriously. We KNOW you got the text. Still nothing. We wouldn't want to commit to anything right now, something better may come up. That little kid then has a birthday party were 2 kids show up. The kid is well liked, his or her classmates adore them. However, at 7, the classmates couldn't RSVP for themselves. You did that. You could have written a "no, we are busy that weekend" or a "we have practice in the morning but will make it, though be about 30 minutes late". You didn't. YOU let that little kid get all excited and ready and show up at the place and have no friends. Its on you.
Does this worry you at all? It is an absolutely common trend in our society. In fact, I am delighted when I get 2-3 RSVPs out of 15 invitations. Really. Thus far, I just plug ahead and then see who s and we've been lucky - never less than 10 so far. But we are flying blind and, it could so easily go the other way. Like it did with David's party last year, where 1 friend from church showed up and 1 friend from school. We RSVP'd that we couldn't attend because we had a family event and, when I did, the mom sent me a message asking if I have discussed it with others in the class and what had I heard? because she had no information. She thought they all liked him but nooone was indicating whether they could go. No one did. He was devastated. Another mom friend shared that no one RSVP'd and then no one showed up to her daughter's party last year. Our kids aren't friends, so this one didn't involve me directly, but her 6 year old was devastated.
No one RSVP's anymore despite it being easier than ever to do so. Take out your damn phone, type in the number on the card, and tell them yes or no, then put it on your calendar. That's it.
We sit here lamenting how society has turned so mean, "how did these kids learn to treat each other like this?" Guess how, people. You are teaching them at least some of it. Don't look away, don't make excuses. You really did avoid doing something that was shockingly easy in order to prevent pain to a child and confusion for the parents (at a bare minimum because it hurts so much watching your child suffer). maybe the pain is little, fleeting. It will get better. But why would you even do this?
So. google it. Parents magazine has an article on "how to get RSVP's to your child's birthday party" and there it is.(www.parents.com/fun/birthdays/invitations/how-to-make-them-rsvp/) This hasn't been a problem in the past (because it is so damn freaking easy). One of the tips on that page is to understand that your child's party isn't the most important thing to that family (and they suggest that learning this might hurt (eyeroll)). Okay, you are right but it takes less than 20 seconds to do, dammit. I have 4 kids, am the hot mess mom who forgets everything (even sometimes my kids shoes or jackets) but I can look at my calendar, see the invitation and pull out my phone. I may have RSVP'd a little later once but still gave them over a week and asked if it was too late.
Last week, David had another party. His mom made sure I could attend that day before even picking it as the day so I could ensure at least 2 kids and probably 4 if we needed extras to make it positive for poor David. As of 3 days ago, I asked another mom in the class if her twins were going to the party. She said she didn't even know yet. She'd wait and see how she felt on Saturday morning. They weren't there. It didn't even occur to her that it was rude. Granted, she has a lot going on in life right now with 4 kids, the youngest almost a year old. But I reminded you. 2 days before the party. ugh. So, David's party was a success this year. My girls were thrilled to be a part of it and so were the other kids who attended.
Does this worry you at all? It is an absolutely common trend in our society. In fact, I am delighted when I get 2-3 RSVPs out of 15 invitations. Really. Thus far, I just plug ahead and then see who s and we've been lucky - never less than 10 so far. But we are flying blind and, it could so easily go the other way. Like it did with David's party last year, where 1 friend from church showed up and 1 friend from school. We RSVP'd that we couldn't attend because we had a family event and, when I did, the mom sent me a message asking if I have discussed it with others in the class and what had I heard? because she had no information. She thought they all liked him but nooone was indicating whether they could go. No one did. He was devastated. Another mom friend shared that no one RSVP'd and then no one showed up to her daughter's party last year. Our kids aren't friends, so this one didn't involve me directly, but her 6 year old was devastated.
No one RSVP's anymore despite it being easier than ever to do so. Take out your damn phone, type in the number on the card, and tell them yes or no, then put it on your calendar. That's it.
We sit here lamenting how society has turned so mean, "how did these kids learn to treat each other like this?" Guess how, people. You are teaching them at least some of it. Don't look away, don't make excuses. You really did avoid doing something that was shockingly easy in order to prevent pain to a child and confusion for the parents (at a bare minimum because it hurts so much watching your child suffer). maybe the pain is little, fleeting. It will get better. But why would you even do this?
So. google it. Parents magazine has an article on "how to get RSVP's to your child's birthday party" and there it is.(www.parents.com/fun/birthdays/invitations/how-to-make-them-rsvp/) This hasn't been a problem in the past (because it is so damn freaking easy). One of the tips on that page is to understand that your child's party isn't the most important thing to that family (and they suggest that learning this might hurt (eyeroll)). Okay, you are right but it takes less than 20 seconds to do, dammit. I have 4 kids, am the hot mess mom who forgets everything (even sometimes my kids shoes or jackets) but I can look at my calendar, see the invitation and pull out my phone. I may have RSVP'd a little later once but still gave them over a week and asked if it was too late.
Last week, David had another party. His mom made sure I could attend that day before even picking it as the day so I could ensure at least 2 kids and probably 4 if we needed extras to make it positive for poor David. As of 3 days ago, I asked another mom in the class if her twins were going to the party. She said she didn't even know yet. She'd wait and see how she felt on Saturday morning. They weren't there. It didn't even occur to her that it was rude. Granted, she has a lot going on in life right now with 4 kids, the youngest almost a year old. But I reminded you. 2 days before the party. ugh. So, David's party was a success this year. My girls were thrilled to be a part of it and so were the other kids who attended.
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